In May of 2013 I had what I now know was not my first Atrial Fibrillation episode, but it was the first one that made me call 000 (911 or 999 for you overseas folks). When admitted to hospital my heart rate was 190 beats per minute and was so irregular it felt like it was playing tig, dodging about inside my chest trying to avoid being caught - really the most horrendous feeling. It was the truly the scariest thing I have ever experienced and it absolutely threw my mortality in my face.
Since then I have had a huge psychological battle; constant fear and anxiety of it happening to that intensity again, wondering what it means for my future, fear of exercising like I used to, always erring on the side of caution with regard to eating/drinking - just in case it might cause an episode. Fear of being alone with Caragh and having to deal with an episode. I can see now that the symptoms I get are linked to my lovely mid life hormonal status and recognising that has reduced my anxiety a little. However, the fact that I need to lose a lot of weight and have the added joy of a dodgy hip and knees due to Osteoarthritis (age doesn't come by herself!!), added to my 'despair' when I was first diagnosed. I thought HOW am I going to lose weight if I cannot exercise like I used to?? and felt 'doomed' to a life of fear and limitation.
The good thing is there are ways in which I can deal with all these issues. It is all about how to handle Plan B. I just have to sit down and work out what Plan B is. That is what 2014 is all about!
Remember what I have said before .... don't think you are getting away with over indulging in your young years, or think "it won't happen to me."Being overweight has an entirely detrimental effect on your health and well-being when in your middle years. Your body does NOT like being stressed by excess weight; joints, muscles, heart, circulatory system, blood pressure, all scream STOP at some point.
Stress also adds to atrial fibrillation and I would say that I have a lions share of stress in my life due to the circumstances of being a Carer to my disabled daughter and having to deal with all that entails on a day to day basis. Thankfully now there are plans for solutions to this situation too, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel regarding that matter!
Love yourself and live your life to the fullest with respect for your body and balance in all things that you enjoy.
In an effort to let my family and friends know what it is like to be a person with AF, I have cut and paste the below information from a brilliant site called a-fib.com
I hope it explains a few of my behaviours over the last 8 months and helps them to understand what I have been going through. I also hope this post gives hope to others who suffer this condition.
I am normally a very positive person and this situation pulled the rug out from beneath my feet. But I am still here, shouting loud and proud that in 2014 I intend to put into place Plan B and live a long life full of hope, health and fitness throughout my middle years. There is a LOT of life, fun, travel, health and wellness out there for the taking and I intend to embrace it all with open arms :) xx
Information from a-fib.com:
I hate to admit it, but I live in fear of my A-Fib. I never know when I’m going to get an A-Fib attack or how long it will last. How do people deal with this constantly lurking fear?”
For some people A-Fib is just an annoyance. But for most, A-Fib can generate feelings of fear, anxiety, tension, depression that are as bad as or sometimes worse than the physical symptoms of A-Fib. For many people, the biggest problem of A-Fib is the fear it generates. Most people (including the author) remember vividly their first A-Fib attack, the feeling that “Something is really wrong with my heart. It’s trying to jump out of my chest!”—the rushing to the ER, the terror of a heart uncontrollably flip-flopping around in one’s chest.
MOST PEOPLE WITH A-FIB EXPERIENCE PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS
As you start to learn to live with A-Fib, there’s the constant threat of an ever-possible A-Fib attack. There’s a sense of sickness, of something not right, of impending doom. a feeling of nauseous malaise. Before, you hardly noticed your heart. Now, it feels out of control, like there’s somebody throwing mini-bowling balls inside your heart. Some people are terrified to go to sleep, because that’s when they get A-Fib attacks. Most people with A-Fib experience psychological distress. It’s important for you to recognize that A-Fib has psychological and emotional effects as well as physical. Don’t be scared to admit how A-Fib makes you feel (especially if you’re a guy).
DON’T EXPECT MUCH HELP FROM YOUR A-FIB DOCTOR
Be aware that your heart doctor may not be of much help. They are often so focused on dealing with your physical symptoms and getting you cured that they often don’t recognize or acknowledge how A-Fib affects your psyche. And they aren’t trained or often have little effective experience in dealing with the psychological and emotional aspects of A-Fib. (I have yet to go to a conference on A-Fib where the emotional and psychological effects of A-Fib are even mentioned, let alone protocols discussed and developed to deal with them.) 35a –
This is all the more surprising in that recent research indicates that “psychological distress” worsens A-Fib symptom severity. “Psychological well-being may strongly influence symptom severity…” 35B [[35B]] Gehi AK at al. Psychopathology and symptoms of atrial fibrillation: implications for therapy. J Cardiovasc Electrophysiol. 2012 May;23(5):473-8. doi: 10.1111/j.1540-8167.2011.02264.x. Epub 2012 Mar 19. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22429764[[35b]]
SUGGESTIONS TO COPE WITH A-FIB FEAR AND ANXIETY
- Knowledge is power and control! The more you learn about A-Fib, the more you will develop an understanding of A-Fib and hopefully a sense of control. If you’ve read this far, you already know A-Fib can be relatively easily fixed (compared to other heart problems). Simply knowing you have options to get rid of A-Fib is a tremendous psychological relief. A-Fib is curable! You don’t have to live a life on meds and in fear. Once you know you’re on the road to a cure, this defeats fear and replaces it with hope!
Though not everyone with A-Fib is cured, the odds are in your favor. You can either get rid of A-Fib (by far a better option), or learn to live with it. Either way you’re going to be OK. (You know that an episode of A-Fib usually isn’t life-threatening.) - Anxiety Thought Log. Confront your A-Fib fears directly. Don’t let them mill around in your subconscious where they can do more harm to your psyche. A recently cured A-Fib patient describes what he did. “I developed an “anxiety thoughts log,” making myself write down word-for-word what the anxious thought was, as well as noting the physical event that seemed to trigger it. By confronting my most extreme fears very explicitly (Is this a TIA or A-Fib? I’m afraid of a stroke, I might die or be disabled. I can’t contemplate a third ablation!), it became easier to re-state and contextualize them in a more reasonable frame of mind, thereby reducing my anxiety.” (Thanks to Anthony Bladon for this excellent, practical suggestion.)
- Counseling and Meds. I’m not a fan of today’s anxiety medications. But perhaps something like Xanax (used for only a short time) may be what you need till you can get cured.
Don’t be scared or ashamed to seek counseling. Recognize that you may need help and someone to talk to. (Sometimes significant others, family, friends, work colleagues, even your doctor may not understand what you’re going through, what living with A-Fib is like. It’s not like you’re bleeding or have a broken leg. You may look normal to them. You may hear things like, “What’s the big deal?!” or “It’s all in your mind.”) (See Jay Teresi’s story “Anxiety the Greatest Challenge” and Kelly Teresi’s story “A Young Wife Copes with Husband’s A-Fib.”) - Pay Attention to How Your A-Fib Affects Others. It’s really easy when you have A-Fib to be a naval gazer, to be completely self-absorbed in your own illness. A lot of times A-Fib affects you so badly mentally that you become irritable, unable to think straight (probably because of reduced blood flow to your brain), forgetful, self-centered, tantrum-prone, unable to function at work, a pain in the a_s to live with. You may need to sit down with your significant others, friends, especially co-workers and explain to them what A-Fib is like, how it affects you, and ask them to be patient with you. (See Max Jusila’s story “A-Fib Was Devastating”)
- A-Fib Support Volunteers. Would you be helped by talking with or emailing people who have been through the A-Fib ordeal? A list of A-Fib Support Volunteers is available at http://a-fib.com/A-FibSupportVolunteers.htm. Having someone you can turn to for advice, emotional support, and a sense of hope that you can be cured (or learn to live with A-Fib), may bring you peace of mind. It helps to have someone who has “been there” and is there for you. These volunteers have gone through a lot to be cured of A-Fib, and have been helped along the way. They want to return the favor by offering you support and hope.
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Last updated: Sunday, December 15, 2013
- See more at: http://a-fib.com/faqs-coping-with-your-atrial-fibrillation/#coping5
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