Festive Frippery and Pretty Spaces

What a wonderful, crazy, exhausting and fun filled Christmas time I have had.  It feels like the celebrations in my world have really been going on all of December because my Mum arrived from Scotland on 26 November, so 'holiday mode' was adopted fairly early on!

It amazes me how in the lead up to Christmas, the planning, the decorating, the cooking, the shopping and wrapping makes December FLY past.  Before we know it, Christmas Eve is upon us and all the excitement of spending the next couple of days with family, eating, drinking and being merry is at its peak.

I have always loved Christmas, I remember it being a magical time of the year as a child.  My parents always made Christmas a big deal and I have definitely taken that on board regarding my own family.  I wanted to create that tradition for my children.  I wanted them to feel especially special, hugely happy and even more loved than they already are.  I know that getting given 'things' is not what makes a person happy, but the thought and effort behind whatever is given is what counts. For me the joy of Christmas has always been in the giving and seeing the delight on everyone's faces when they are happy with their gifts.

Other ways in which I like to give to my friends and family over this festive period are to have a beautiful tree, pretty decorations, a fabulously festive dinner setting, delicious food, great company, yummy drinks with lots of fun and frippery (go look the word up, it really does describe what I mean very well haha)!!

Here are a selection of photo's from my 2013 Christmas decorations and I hope you have had just as much fun through this special time of year as I have:

'O Christmas Tree'

All things glittery 

festive feathers

Christmassy spaces

silvery centrepieces

One of the things I love to do prior to Christmas day is set my table; cutlery, crockery, tablecloths, glassware, napkins, bottles of wine and champagne and of course Bon Bons.  For me it is adding to the decorations in the Christmas space that I like to create.  The end result is always so pretty and everyone delights in sitting down to dinner in a festive filled environment.

Merry Christmas 

Christmas is a whirlwind time of the year, and while it takes a lot of energy to create a beautiful time for the special people in your life, personally, it's my Christmas present to them and it brings me a great deal of pleasure to give to my family and those closest to me in this way.  

Merry Christmas everyone, and have a wonderful New Year when it comes!

Thank You and Goodbye Forties, Hello and Welcome Fifties!

2013 - The year I turned 50!  I found a letter I had written to myself when reflecting on my 40's and contemplating what my 50's will bring.. I hope you enjoy my musings.

My boys, my angel and I at my 50th Party

                                            

Thank you and goodbye forties, HELLO and welcome fifties..

I am sitting here thinking of all the 'gifts' my forties bestowed upon me.  It has been a decade of lessons, of growth, of change, of surrender and of forgiveness and acceptance.  I am completely aware that all I went through in this decade has been the result of my thinking, my choices, my attitude; I have had some painful emotional times and I have had periods of beautiful spiritual awareness, of learning to love myself, of realising the power of living in the moment and how my thinking creates my world.

I am so grateful for all I have been through - even the hard yards.  Looking at myself has not been easy, but I have been willing and still am, to continue to heal, grow and change for the better in my fifties.

I am deeply grateful for the help I have received in caring for Caragh - surrendering to ask for help was difficult, but once I managed to let go a little, it made life so much easier.

I am also joyously grateful for the most wonderful European trip I did last year.  It has to be one of the highlights of my life to date and I will travel like that again in the near future.  This world is so beautiful, there are so many breathtaking sights to see: architecture, history, Art, Music, Cultures.  The whole trip was food for my soul and showed me my emotional strength, courageous spirit and that I am a much stronger person than I think I am.

A beautiful card from a beautiful friend - front page pic of me in Oia, Santorini, August 2012

      

In my forties I lost my way for a while, but soon found my way back to the real me.  To who I am at the deepest level.  My essence.

I am laughing here because another thing I am very grateful for is my little dog Seb!! He brings so much simple joy to my home.

Seb - he's a prince!

                                                               

I am very grateful for my job, for being an Editor of SCRIBE magazine, for being able to work part-time and from home. It is a real blessing.

Click here if you want to see the online issues of Scribe Magazine

If someone asked me to list all that I desire for the next decade and then into my sixties, seventies and eighties - here is the list:

 I am going to have:

• A healthier self-esteem
• A love and continued commitment to my exercising lifestyle
• A beautiful, loving relationship
• To grow even more in self-love and self-care
• To be a normal weight ( lol my LIFE to date's mantra.. hopefully my fifties sees this one come true)
• A normal, 'free' lifestyle because Caragh will become more independent
• Financial Security
• I am able to always put my needs first by having a healthy regard for myself
• Continue to develop a deep spiritual connection with my God
• I am HAPPY
• I always choose the healthiest options for my life, for my emotional and physical health and for my spirituality
• I surrender each day to God.
• I LOVE life
• I LOVE my friends
• I LOVE me
• I am blessed. 

Karen you are perfect in your imperfections, and it's about time (remember your'e a kick in the pants off 50 woman!!) you truly love and accept yourself just the way you are! So BRING ON THE GOLDEN YEARS, I'm ready for some fun!!!

Karen x

A Bit of Karen-Ology

Hi! My name is Karen and other names I go by are Mum, Kaz/Kazza!

I'm a Scottish lass who lives in Perth, Western Australia, having emigrated from Scotland way back in 1987.  My work life has been varied over the years, but in the past 10 years I've worked in Public Relations/ Marketing within Education and the Non-Profit Sector for  a couple of organisations; one that helps the homeless and vulnerable people within the community and another that helps disabled people and their families plan for a "live your best life" future.

I am a mother of 4 - three handsome boys and one angel of a daughter!  I am also a Carer.  I care for my angel of a daughter who is a young lady with special needs.

I am:

a writer

a soul searcher

spiritually driven

I have:

a big laugh

a great sense of humour

a love of people

and

I love nothing more than to make my friends and family happy

My favourite things to do:

Reading spiritual/self help books

Meditation

Writing

Music

Socialising

Bling

Perfumes

SHOES!!!

and

All things girly

I hope you enjoy my blogging - I can be contacted at karen.140@gmail.com

Happy Reading!!!

Ho Ho Ho off Christmas Partying I Go...

Don't you just love this time of year??  Decorating the house, playing Christmas songs.....

putting the glad rags and the face on....

....and the start of all the Christmas get togethers.

Today was the start for me - my work Christmas Luncheon at Villa Roma in Fremantle....

Villa Roma, Fremantle Al Fresco Area

                                                       

 then this evening off to a girlfriend's place for a ladies dinner ....

Gorgeous Girlfriends

and tomorrow meeting some new Scottish friends at the Lucky Shag (yes that is the name of a pub here in Perth !)

The Deck Bar at The Lucky Shag, Perth

All in all a great start to the Festive Season.  Bring the Christmas Spirit on in bucket loads I say!!

Gratitude is essential to my state of mind.  When I am grateful I have something to be smile about!

Today I am grateful for the gift of expressing my creativity in writing.  It is such a release, an exercise in awareness and a joy to use words to express feelings inside that can inspire, connect with or help another.

Shhhhhut Down the Fat Talk

I recently watched a fantastic ad clip called Shhhhhut Down the Fat Talk which struck me in my solar plexus; I heard all the every day negative talk that we beautiful womanly creatures insult ourselves with.  We do it mindlessly without realisation of the consequences.  

Having lived my whole life battling weight and compulsive/addictive tendencies around food, I related only too well to the following list of insults that none of us would ever utter to our close friends. 

I look fat

My thighs are too big

I have a muffin top

I hate how I look

My shape makes me look ugly

I don't have ankles I have cankles

and on and on the list goes.. all the self destructive talk and the sarcastic jokes about ourselves.  We have to SHHHHHUT DOWN the Fat Talk girls, we need to replace all those negatives above to the positives below:

I look great

My thighs are healthy

I am a curvy goddess

I love how I look 

My shape is perfect for me right now

I have a great pair of legs

I am perfect just the way I am..

This list needs to be endless!!  Add to it every day, turn off the Fat Talker and turn on the Self Lover - watch the difference it will make in your life!

To watch the clip click Shhhhut Down Fat Talk

Burn Out

Burn Out

November 19, 2013 at 3:54pm

PublicFriendsFriends except AcquaintancesOnly MeCustomClose FriendsSelf Employed and Loving It!See all lists...St. David's Catholic High SchoolPerth, Western Australia AreaLimited ProfileSelf Employed and Loving It!St Patrick's Community Care, FremantleStevenson College EdinburghGulibiru Pty LtdVirginia Commonwealth UniversityFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

Before I went to Sydney/Melbourne for a 9 day break, I was talking with my counsellor (Yep I see a counsellor because she keeps me sane and is a non judgemental, caring ear that I can spill my guts too) - anyway, I was telling her how I have been feeling lately and wondering what the issue/s is/are - she said 'Karen this is a simple case of classic burn out.'

We then started talking about all the things I do in my life, what has gone on with me health-wise in the last 6 months and how I tend not to voice my needs or put myself first.

I find it very hard to do either of the aforementioned because I am a Mother - and in addition to that I am a Carer.  Voicing my needs tends to create anxiety in me and a pre-existing garbage message, that to do so is 'selfish.'  Not speaking of the not-so-positive moments/days/weeks in my life has been the norm for me.  Everyone likes to see strong, happy, smiley full-of-life and fun Karen, but right now she is done in, washed up and burnt out, needing a lot of understanding of her situation and not to be taken for granted.

The love I have for my daughter and my sons is - as any mother will tell you - a love that runs deeper than can ever be explained.  The fact that my daughter is a young lady who has special needs and who is vulnerable in this world means that my love for her and my concern about her life, her future and her happiness is all consuming. All that mental and emotional energy is spent with constant thoughts of wanting the best for her; her safety, her dignity, her emotional needs being met, her physical needs being met, her being surrounded by people who understand her and love her the way I do, her financial security and on and on the list goes.

As a Mother I don't think any of us totally cut off from thinking about all our children in this way, but when faced with the fact that one of your children will not be able to ever live life completely independently or without support, there is a lot of anxiety and heartache.  On top of all that internal dialogue there is the actual physicality of caring for another adult; dressing, hygiene, feeding, watching when crossing a road, planning her life and her future; from arranging schools, to alternative to employment agencies, carers, dentists, doctors, funding applications to contacting all those that can help create the best possible life for her..... on and on that list goes too.... and you might begin to see why I am feeling so exhausted.

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful network of helpful people  and friends in my life; beautiful people who all love Caragh and are more than happy to help where they can in the planning and implementation of a more independent life for her while supporting me in the process.  I am eternally grateful to every single person on this journey and there are no words I can say to express my gratitude. However, and I say this with the utmost respect, at the end of the day I am home alone with my gorgeous girl, doing what needs done - and before anyone pipes up with well 'that's your job' or 'what's the alternative' or 'she's your responsibility' - I KNOW all that.  I just need to voice what I am feeling.

Seven years down the track of being on my own with Caragh is taking it's toll on me.  I wish I had the fountain of eternal youth, or that I had not got sick back in May, or that caring for her was not so physically and mentally demanding. I love her. I love everything about her.  I love her smile, her chat with me, her love of music, her messiness with paper all around her, her sense of humour.. there is SO much
to love about her.

I feel guilty that I am running out of steam to care for her, I feel a mixture of excitement for her future life in her own place with a carer and the dread of a mother letting go of her baby. What happens when she feels sick, or gets a migraine, or is upset??  Who is going to show her the tenderness and love/ care she needs at those times.. will it be the same as Mum?  Who will understand her when she talks, I do, I know Caragh's language inside out but not everybody does. Isn't it crazy that we mothers think we are the only ones that can give the best to our kids ???

These are just some of the thought processes that go on in my head and as a result Karen gets left behind, yet Karen needs to be looking after herself right now on a whole lot of levels. Karen needs to stop feeling guilty for having needs of her own; needs such as waking up in the morning and only having myself to deal with - do you KNOW how much of a blessing that is??  It is one of my favourite things when I do get away for a few days - waking up and just having ME to deal with. Karen wants to work full-time which is an impossibility right now, Karen wants to live the life any other woman her age is - weekends away with girls, going out somewhere on the spur of the moment, going to the gym at any time of the day .. having the energy to go to the gym at all at the moment is an issue!

Classic burn out is not a great spot to be in - one moment you can rationalise and say "this too will pass" and the next you feel overwhelmed by the whole process.  Writing is a creative and healing tool - it helps me to release the build up of emotions and allows perspective of what is going on inside.   I promise I am not insane.. just burnt out.. and no doubt soon enough I will bounce back to my energetic happy-smiley-self :)

Next time I will write about candy floss clouds, sweet smelling roses and a sky filled with diamonds - or does that sound insane??? x

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Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

January 24, 2012 at 12:27am

PublicFriendsFriends except AcquaintancesOnly MeCustomClose FriendsSelf Employed and Loving It!See all lists...St. David's Catholic High SchoolPerth, Western Australia AreaLimited ProfileSelf Employed and Loving It!St Patrick's Community Care, FremantleStevenson College EdinburghGulibiru Pty LtdVirginia Commonwealth UniversityFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou


Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa


Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Have you ever found yourself in the situation of being disappointed by those you thought were close to you, having your eyes opened and not liking what you see?  I've had a bit of a learning curve recently where a lot of my 'rose coloured glasses' views were turned into an ever so slightly harsh reality.

However, I am actually grateful for the experience as it has done me a favour.  Going through crappy emotions, taking stock and working through various thoughts has made me stronger, made me FINALLY put myself first.  I consider and care for myself first. I  Love myself first and then I love, care and consider everyone else next.  I also draw a line under those in my life that don't honour me for who I am. The next best thing I can do for myself is to let go of the crap, move on with new insight and be grateful for all lessons learned.

Don't you just love the way God/Universe/Love/Spirit guides us and uses all situations for our benefit??? The quotes surrounding my writing are comforting, inspirational and meaningful to me, so I thought I'd share them with you too.


We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz


Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.
- Oprah Winfrey



Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
- Alexander Pope


A mistake is always forgivable, rarely excusable and always unacceptable.
Robert Fripp

How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all.
Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Gandhi

Bob Marley knew what it's like....

Bob Marley knew what it's like..

May 10, 2011 at 10:43pm

PublicFriendsFriends except AcquaintancesOnly MeCustomClose FriendsSelf Employed and Loving It!See all lists...St. David's Catholic High SchoolPerth, Western Australia AreaLimited ProfileSelf Employed and Loving It!St Patrick's Community Care, FremantleStevenson College EdinburghGulibiru Pty LtdVirginia Commonwealth UniversityFamilyAcquaintancesGo Back

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.

You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.

Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

— Bob Marley