Mournful Musings

I am very blessed to have a beautiful family and true friendships in my life - especially at this time of going through the roller coaster journey that grief is. I can’t thank my sisters, family and friends (you know who you are) enough for their support, patience and care as I navigate these often emotionally murky waters. 

It’s been an interesting time since Mum’s passing, one that has led me to re-evaluate a lot of life ‘stuff,' and without doubt, one of the gifts this journey has brought is the clarification of what matters most in my life;  family and true friends.  

For some reason I’ve felt compelled to take stock of the many relationships in my life - including my relationship with myself.  Really checking in whether these relationships are healthy; working out whether they are emotionally/mentally healthy, enjoyable and a positive influence in my life.  

I tend to be a big softie, opening my arms, heart and home to people in an effort to accept and love them for who they are.  Holding that space for all personalities, opinions and beliefs to be what they are. However, I’ve realised that while it is indeed a good thing to be open and accepting, it is also good - and necessary - to ‘check in’ whether doing so is positive for me; making sure I hold that space where I give myself the same respect, loyalty and consideration that I offer others.  

Sunset with Friends

My meditative moments over these past weeks have brought me to a deeper understanding of the qualities that, for me,  make real and lasting friendships: 

• True friendship allows me to be myself; to be accepted for who I am. 

• True friendship doesn’t require censoring of conversation due to differences in opinions/belief systems/life philosophies.

• True friends afford each other the respect to speak/share their own truth/opinions without ridicule or negation. 

• If expected to follow social norms and protocols in life’s big moments e.g condolences/congratulations, and you are not afforded the same - that is not true friendship. 

My mournful musings and time of introspection have made me dig deep, really ask what is most important in my life. It is an undeniable fact that life is SO short, and that actually there need only be time in life for honest, loyal and true relationships with all the complexities they bring; no energy should be spent on anything else. 


“The building blocks of friendship are based on sharing the deepest parts of yourself and believing that they will be held sacred ....  If you don’t have trust in your friend you don’t have friendship. “

"Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words." George Eliot

Make sure to hold your dearest friendships in that sacred space of trust, check in that they are honest and loyal.  In doing so, I know you’ll enjoy the many gifts a loyal, long and lasting friendship brings to your life.

Thank you Mum! 💗