Feelings

It feels like someone is gripping my insides with a vice, my eyes sting trying to stem the flow of tears, my heart rate goes up, the lump in my throat is hard, my mind tries unsuccessfully to calm me down saying, what does it matter?? how important is it??

The frustration I feel is so utterly overwhelming. The disappointment I feel is etched deep in my soul. The anger I feel is like a restrained, raging tornado, that if let loose would create immense damage. I am silently SCREAMING. I need to be heard. I need to be respected. I want to ask why do you not understand how I feel ?? Do I not MATTER?

I do not know if any of the above feelings are right for me to feel, but I feel them.  Are they are a pity pot tantrum?? I cannot gauge this at all.  These are the feelings that happen when I feel completely taken for granted.

Do you ever question yourself when you have negative feelings like these??  Or do you realise that they are a natural part of the human experience.  Emotions can be high or low, good or bad, happy or sad and everyone has them.  I know this, yet more often than not question whether it is okay for me to have them.  Questions whether it is okay to stand up for myself and put myself first.  Am I asking too much to have my needs met or at least understood?