Me and My Shadow

There comes a time in our lives when we have to get real.  A time when we have to look ourselves in the eye and be drop dead honest about our good and bad points. 

I used to be the kind of person that was terrified of being perceived as bad/not nice/wrong.  For an intelligent lady, it took me a fair while to understand that being perfect and doing everything right was virtually impossible; in fact striving for it was utterly exhausting. 

Nobody in this world is perfect, nobody has carte blanche on doing things right every single time and I now understand that part of  the whole human experience is owning our darker side, embracing instead of rejecting our shadow.  

For a long time I rejected my shadow, hid it from all and sundry due to fear of rejection, judgement or losing friends. In doing so I was in effect cutting myself off from a rich supply of information about how I tick. While this 'darkness' holds my unspoken fears, anger, judgements etc. it is very much part of who I am; for me to be a whole, truly happy human being, acceptance of the light as well as the dark side of me is extremely important.  

I am not for one minute suggesting that every time I make a mistake, or my shadow appears, I harshly criticise, judge, or beat myself up. However, what I do endeavour to do is learn from my negative actions and reactions, to see where I can grow and live in a more conscious way.  It is not comfortable to look at my shadow, but it is courageous and I am very grateful for every opportunity I have to become a better person today than I was yesterday.   

Carl Jung in his collected works says: "Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.  If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it...but if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected."

Today, me and my shadow get along just fine! I actually do embrace that side of Karen.  I can laugh at some of my negative reactions, I know how to look for triggers to those moments that create a challenge in my life. Having learned how to handle that darker side of me has created a wholly positive outcome; a happier existence, self love, self acceptance and self respect. 

Get to know your shadow, embrace it, learn from it and be the amazing 'yin and yang' creation you are.